The strength of Joseph’s manly character was tested when he discovered that his betrothed was pregnant even though he had not yet “known her.” This was a situation that, to put it mildly, would have bruised anyone’s manly honor. As yet, the angel had not reassured Joseph that this was part of God’s plan. A lesser man, seeking only to defend his personal honor, might have demanded that Mary be stoned as an adulteress. Consider that “honor killings” still occur in the Middle East. Instead, the Gospel tells us that Joseph was “unwilling to expose her to shame” and that “he decided to divorce her quietly.” Putting aside his own bruised ego, Joseph acted charitably and without malice. He sought to handle the matter discreetly without further harm or humiliation to Mary.

Joseph’s restraint in this regard provides an important lesson in learning how to manage one’s impulsive rage and to control one’s temper. This is a particularly important lesson for those of us who were inclined in our youth to be “hot-blooded.” A spiritually mature man, like Joseph, is not governed by the tempests of wounded masculine pride. Patience and circumspection may lead us to discover that our initial judgment was wrong. This means standing back from the heat of the moment to listen to God, to our spouse, and to our children, just as Joseph listened to the angel and Mary, rather than succumbing to impulse and “snap judgments.”

Joseph further embodies Christian manliness in his role as protector of the Holy Family. Tradition refers to him as custos Domini (guardian of the Lord). One can point to Joseph as the greatest advocate of adoption, which is often ridiculed today and asserted to be a cause of dysfunctional families. Joseph testifies to the nobility of a self-giving love that transcends blood and genetics.

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Joseph Fornieri in Touchstone: A Journal of Mere Christianity. Joseph exists for us all as the very icon of the faithful servant of God. No celebrity. No klieg lights. The Most High asked Joseph to do something for him, to protect Mary, to be the guardian father of Jesus. Joseph found the grace to do it. He became a source of joy to the Blessed Mother, to their son, and to the Most High himself.